This year I decided to write my goals for the next five years. It seems more appropriate to think in five year chunks for some reason.
I've concluded that I've spent the few decades living for other people following the rules laid down by others and doing things that others believed were important.
I spent my younger years in school, doing what my teachers told me to do in spite of my feelings that what we were learning was ill-taught, not-important and not what was necessary. Now that I am forty-four, I understand that I was correct. I have never used perhaps 90% of what I learned in school, and the information that I did need to survive I had to learn elsewhere.
The eighties were spent working for several companies. I spent many long days, weekends, evenings and holidays slaving away, working for people who claimed to care, yet when the test came didn't or couldn't follow through on promises and responsibilities.
In the nineties, I began learning what it would mean to be self-determined and I started on that road. I quite a meaningless job and got a wonderful job at an awesome company. I married an incredible woman, named Claudia, and lived happily with her, even though she sickened and eventually passed away.
In many ways, I devoted my life to my wonderful friend and soul-mate Claudia. I sacrificed much for her, to make her happy, reduce her pain, and in the attempt to repair her body and recover her sagging spirit. So much attention and energy was spent focused on her welfare that for many years I didn't have all that much time to spent on anything else except survival.
Times have now changed, and with the passing of Claudia just seven weeks ago (it seems like a lifetime), I have realized that I am at a major turning point. I have the opportunity to set the pattern for the rest of my life, and I've decided to make some basic and fundamental changes in my focus, although in many ways I shall remain the same as I've been.
My major focus for the next five years is to rediscover Richard (myself). Through my religion, my incredible job and wise use of my available time, I am going to find out what's important to me. I am discarding many old patterns and habits, and moving forward with a new outlook - to experience life like I have never experienced it before.
You see, with the passing of my beloved wife, I was shocked. Her life ended before she turned fifty and we both believed she had many years left. The lesson that I learned, that's been burned into my mind, is to live life; to really live. To experience sensations and emotions. To ignore the old cautions and concerns and to explore what's important, to learn what is fulfilling and to find out really and truly what I live and what I enjoy.
I've seen way too many people lately who are in the final years of their life and who wish they had done more. I've concluded that the majority of people pass on without experiencing much of anything - they, like me, get so caught up in the game of day-to-day living that they forget to learn about themselves and to live life at all, much less to the fullest.
I want to explore this planet, at least the area around where I live, and see what there is to see. California is easily the most varied and beautiful place on Earth, and I plan on seeing as much of it as I can during the next half-decade.
I've learned that friends are important, and I've learned that I have many people that I call friend. I shall remain in communication with them on a regular basis. In the past, I've allowed good friends to fade away; through the use of my web sites, email and telephone, distance is no longer a concern. I can remain in communication easily and efficiently. I shall spend more time exploring this thing called friendship.
One thing that I love to do is write, and during the next five years I shall write often and on many different subjects. I've suppressed my desire to write for many reasons, and I shall no longer do this.
There are many adventures that I shall set out upon, as there are many things that I've considered too dangerous, boring or upsetting to even think about doing. Whale watching, bungee-jumping, sky-diving, cave-exploring, swimming, hiking and many other possibilities come to mind, and I shall endeavor to experience these once-forbidden or "dangerous" things.
I am going to feel what there is to feel; taste hundreds of different tastes, smell thousands of smells, and see everything there is to see.
One of my strongest traits is my sense of ethics and honor, and I shall remain completely ethical and honorable. How else can I look myself in the mirror each morning and smile?
To sum it all up, I am going to live life to the fullest. I am going to experience as much as I can, and I am going to learn more about myself. Most of all, I am going to be fully self-determined, happy, ethical while still contributing to my religion, profession, company, state and nation.
So without further preamble, here are my goals for the next five years.
Goal: to become a published writer, to practice writing constantly and to make my opinions, successes and knowledge known to others.
Goal: to share my adventures, opinions and life with my friends and others via the web and internet.
Goal: to travel about the south western United States, especially southern California and visit every place in the are worth seeing, and to build up a photo collection and travelogue of those adventures to share with friends and others.
Goal: to become fully knowledgeable in the areas related to my profession, to become certified to ensure and prove that knowledge, and to understand how to use the tools which I've got.
Goal: to enjoy my chosen hobbies.
Goal: To enjoy life, to live life fully, to experience things which I have been afraid of or have avoided.
Goal: to experience different sensations.
Goal: to research and read; too ensure I am knowledgeable about how to survive in different and trying situations, and can help others in those times.
Goal: to remain healthy, happy and sane.
Goal: to competently fulfill my duties at work and to improve my contribution to it's success; to aid my teammates in their work and allow them to do their best.
Goal: to memorialize the good qualities of Claudia's life and the good times we spent together.
Goal: to visit special places on the planet.
Goal: to achieve the highest levels of my religion.
